Effectively! Labor Day Weekend is upon us, so put together for a Lame-o publish. It’s time for the Hog Days Parade – I don’t know if I wrote about this final yr however, after almost a decade of By no means Going to Hog Days I bought thrown within the deep finish of the fryer, courtesy of my gal friends who grew up in Kewanee (at one time it was Hog Capital of the World, so it’s mentioned) .
They’re enormous native boosters so do All of the Stuff, with Hog Days being #1. They spend weeeeks constructing a float, the theme of which is saved secret till all of us meet up on the warehouse. It’s completely charming. The entire city just about shuts down, even the locations not affected by the truthful – all people seems. A lot of funnel cake and beer and I’m going as a result of I really like these gals – as a result of ew: stale grease, beer, flip flops, flop sweat and tipsy women sitting on the curb in shorts, crying. Nevertheless it’s One Day – Saturday – within the blazing solar, on a float (sure. you learn that proper. A Float. I’m desperately hoping that one yr they make me put on a silk gown as a result of That Look? I can channel my Internal Blanche and sashay the dwelling hell out of it. Possibly they’ll give me a tiara and a scepter. Or an eye fixed masks. A gal can dream.
– no matter it’s, it positive beats carrying the pig costume their cousin wears Each Damb 12 months. Omg. 90F and also you’re on a float, within the solar, in a fleece pig costume – full with Big Plastic Head)
Curiously – Hog Days Hog Chow? They solely promote pork burgers. I used to be salivating on the considered attention-grabbing cuts of pork – or perhaps a Rib Contest. I imply… it’s HOG DAYS! Alas, no. Very bizarre – then once more, this isn’t concerning the precise pork. It’s the Parade, the Honest (with these rides (and the ropy guys with no tooth who set them up and the ladies mooning over them as a result of they don’t have already got sufficient guys with no tooth round there) These rides terrify my OSHA soul. Final yr I used to be chided for testing the rides’ parts – ‘You’re sucking all of the enjoyable out of it!’ – yeah, nicely, getting flung off the Ferris Wheel and touchdown on the railroad tracks is actually gonna suck the enjoyable (and the life) out of it.
Get off my garden! And my Ferris Wheel.
Sunday M. Jacques and I stand up a o’dark-thirty (mild is altering NOT IN MY FAVOR and it’s getting harder to get going and all I wish to do is cry) – we’re on our approach to Kentucky! I can scent the stables already – oh, wait. That’s the Sale Barn, right here, a block away. Kentucky thoroughbreds Do Not Scent.
Candy hay, uber-pricey horse sweat, beautiful, pristine stables which can be price greater than this complete city …that’s a beautiful scent mix. I’m not bringing any fragrance as a result of it’s early September in Kentucky! I’ll scent like Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30, in all its coconutty, suntanny goodness. (sidenote: guys LOVE that scent. Gals, too! go determine). I’ll be within the pool. Or in my sister’s closet (which is why I’m happening – she’s wanting the place organized earlier than she brings in an organizer. Huh. I’d in all probability be the identical method.)
Dunno once we’ll head again – someday subsequent week. It’s all a part of my Calm the Hell Down venture – no actual motive to plan this just like the Normandy Invasion, so I’mo simply let it perk alongside till I begin to scent like a fish. Then we’ll hightail it again on the highway.
Whazzup with you? Any Labor Day plans (when you don’t have fun, let M. Jacques know what your weekend was like. He’ll pull a WIN !!
See??? Toldja it was a lame-o publish! Love you all, hope you had an awesome weekend!